In May of 1988, President Ronald Reagan began what has become the recognized celebration of National Foster Care Month in the United States. There are three main focuses for this month, including increasing the awareness of foster care, inspiring people to become more active in the life of children in foster care and to develop ways to support these initiatives throughout the year.
One of the most important focuses of every year’s National Foster Care Month is increasing the motivation for people to step forward to become foster parents. This is a decision that requires caring, loving people who are willing to step out of their comfort zone and to work with children who have had difficult lives. Sometimes this is not always an easy task, but the rewards and the satisfaction in seeing children in foster care become successful, happy, and talented young children, teens, and adults is something that makes it all worthwhile.
Younger and Older Children
While many people associate foster care with younger children, there are children of all ages in the system. Often older children in their early to late teens are less likely to be adopted, which means they may stay in the foster care system until they “age out,” which is between 18 and 21 depending on the state where the child resides. These kids have needs at this age, and this can be a very challenging time to suddenly be out and on their own.
Having a loving foster care family that can continue the relationship is a benefit for these young adults. They have a trusted person who loves them to help to guide them through these difficult years, just as other children lean on their parents during this age.
Younger children in the system may also have more than one experience in foster homes or even through adoptions. Abuse and neglect can result in kids with behavioral challenges and trust issues, but with perseverance, love, and positive parenting, these kids can become highly successful thanks to the support of foster families.
It is not always easy to be a foster parent and to provide a foster family for a child in the system. However, the positive impact, experiences, and love you give to a child in foster care are some of the greatest gifts in the world today.
Since 1988, May has been National Foster Care Month. This is a perfect time to thank a foster care family in your neighborhood and to get involved in foster care support and services. Consider donating to Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation. We fund resources for children in Arizona foster care to live just like anyone else, whether it’s buying their first instrument or granting a college scholarship.
Our Stories
In honor of National Foster Care Month, Arizona Friends of Foster Children is featuring real stories from real foster parents.
Dear Future Foster Parents,
My name is Faith. I am a 19-year-old college student who aged out of “The System” and have recently been adopted…for the second time. Typically, a child/teen who is care is hopeful to be adopted by a loving family who loves them as their own and ends up with their “forever” family. Unfortunately, that forever family did not work out for me the first time around. Even though they volunteered to give me love and affection, they gave me hate and destruction instead. Up until the age of 15, I dealt with emotional, physical, mental and even spiritual abuse from these individuals whom I called “Mom” and “Dad.” That was until I confided in a single, 27-year-old woman at church who understood the nature of my situation and eventually became my foster mother.
If it weren’t for Niky (my foster mother), I would not be where I am today. She showed me a raw version of love. A love that has no requirements, a love that doesn’t care about my past, a love that genuinely wants the best for me. Coming from a broken home and negative background, it was hard to accept and receive. I did not believe her or anyone else when I was told, “I am here for you,” “I’m not leaving.” I am positive it was hard for her to give such love because I was not an easy teenager! I was stubborn, rude, had an attitude all the time and made her life complicated. However, she still continued to love me even when I DID NOT deserve it!
In my opinion, patience goes hand in hand with love. She was so patient and kind to me during my healing season. She was patient with me when I was still learning how to be a contributing part in society, and she was beyond patient with me when I rejected the love she gave. As a future foster parent, please keep in mind that we did not put ourselves in this situation. Our past parents did, and we have to deal with the consequences of their actions. It is easy to get mad and blame us because we are the ones acting out or being hard on you, but please have patience and compassion. We did not want what happened to us to happen.
At first, it will be hard, even challenging as a person. However, over time it will be one of the BEST decisions you ever made. That child/teen you foster will show you a different side of the world you haven’t seen before, which will give you a new perspective on life. Emotions of joy, love, sadness, despair, hope and even gratitude will be wrapped up in this experience. My hope is that during it ALL, you and that child/teen will share a relationship of “parent and child” because there is none like it. It is hard to achieve and reach that point, but all you can do is keep that mentality and eventually…it won’t be so hard anymore.