Adoption is an incredibly personal process that is different for every family. Many families, when they consider adoption, think about bringing a baby or young child into the home. However, if you’ve been thinking about adoption or know that you have room in your heart for another child, consider the benefits of adopting an older child and how it can improve not only their lives but yours, too.
Why Consider Adopting a Teen or Older Child?
Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation has been helping children and youth in foster care for over 40 years, and today, we’d like to go over some reasons why families should consider adopting an older child. Adopting a teen or older child can present some challenges, but also can provide both parent and child with rewards and enrichment. Many older children or teens thrive in a loving, stable environment that you can provide through adoption.
Youth Who Are Adopted Do Better Than Those Who Age Out of Foster Care
Aging out of foster care often means that young adults are on their own, without a family to fall back on. They are less likely to go to college, may have poor performance in high school, and have higher odds of homelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, and unemployment. Youth who are adopted, even at an older age, are much more likely to have positive outcomes.
Many foster kids crave stability and structure that may not be possible in the foster care system. Adoption provides a way for you and the child to bond and be better prepared for adulthood than simply aging out of the foster care system. Adoption goes beyond aging out. By adopting even as a teenager or pre-teen, you not only provide guidance into adulthood, but you also will continue to help them thrive as they build their own families and careers.
Adopting a Teen or Older Child Provides Unique Opportunities
Preparation for bringing a teen or older child into your home is much simpler than making adjustments for a baby. They are more self-sufficient than an infant and can participate in more activities with your established family structure. Travel and recreation may be less of an adjustment with an older child. In these formative years, it is essential for a teen to be able to trust you as their parent, knowing that there is a bright future to look forward to.
Older Children in Foster Care Can Have More Difficulty Being Adopted
In many cases, families who are considering adoption are interested primarily in younger children. The older a child gets while in the foster system, the less likely they are to be adopted: at the age of 8, adoption rates decrease substantially, and teens may have even more trouble finding their forever homes. Those older kids and teens, however, are still looking for their forever families–and still need the support those families can bring. This might even shorten the time that you must wait to find the child that is the perfect fit for your family. While infants and toddlers are not as readily available, older children and teens have been waiting for their forever families for a while.
Myths About Adopting Older Children and Teens
There are many myths associated with adopting an older child–many of which can leave potential adoptive parents on the fence about bringing those children into their lives.
Though it is true that adopting a teen may not be for everyone, a look at some of the myths that are causing hesitation should be acknowledged:
Myth #1: You Won’t Build a Strong Relationship If You Adopt an Older Child
Older adoptive children are often highly involved in the adoption process and very invested in finding their forever families. As a result, they frequently form powerful bonds with their new parents.
Most teens and older children want to share your love and receive your guidance, just like younger children. Your love and trust can be empowering to these children, essential to them in these adolescent years.
Myth #2: Older Kids Haven’t Been Adopted Due to Behavioral Issues
Older children may be available for adoption for any number of reasons. They may not have been separated from their previous families until they were much older, or they may have never found the right fit for them.
Though many may have traumatic experiences, they are in no way damaged and still crave a loving, stable family unit. Every person has a past, and with the help and support of their adoptive family and therapeutic resources, older kids and teens will be more apt to successfully deal with traumatic events in their past.
Myth #3: Older Kids Have More Mental Health Issues
Foster care and adoption can be traumatic for any child, even children adopted as babies. Children with difficult pasts may benefit from therapy, love, and stability. Know your own capabilities and limits, and talk with caseworkers about the types of issues you’re prepared to handle.
Preparing to Adopt an Older Child
If you are considering adopting an older child or teen, discuss with your caseworker your options before getting started. Preparation is essential for a successful adoption. There are several steps you can take to prepare to adopt an older child.
- Know what resources are available to you. For example, your child may be able to participate in the Keys to Success program, which can offer information about how to build future career opportunities.
- Prepare your home. Make sure there is a space for your child. Give them a chance to select some of the elements of that room or plan to work together to decorate it during the adoption process or once they arrive.
- Discuss the timeline for adoption. Keep in mind that adoptions do take time, and it’s best to prepare yourself for potential delays.
- Have a therapist or trusted individual to talk with about the emotions and challenges you may experience as you move through the program and adopt your child.
- If you have other children in your home, discuss adopting a teen or older child with them to see how they feel before proceeding. Having other family members on board can make the transition smoother and less traumatic for the entire family.
While adopting an older child can open your family up to a great deal of love and joy, it can be a highly emotional process. Preparing ahead of time can make it easier for you to integrate the child into your family.
Adopting a Teen Can Change Lives
Adoption of an older child or teen can be a win-win situation. The child wins with a stable, loving home, and the parent wins by not only providing love but also by receiving it. Putting a child on the right path can lead them to a successful, fulfilling life. Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation has been helping children and youth in foster for over 40 years in Arizona. We understand that every child needs a family, regardless of their age. AFFCF is a nonprofit that offers youth in foster care by funding a variety of educational, athletic and social activities that aren’t otherwise funded by state programs.
Contact Us if you wish to help one of our community’s most underserved populations. No matter what amount you give, rest assured 81% of your donation will go directly to improving the lives of children in foster care in Arizona.
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