When a child changes homes or schools, it tends to have a disruptive effect. The more frequently they move, the more their support system has to focus on making sure they meet milestones. For children in foster care, frequent moves come with trauma and grief, often suddenly, making it even more important to provide positive experiences.
Parenting could be described as a balancing act in which we try to negotiate preparing children for adulthood with letting kids be kids. It’s clear that young adults aging out of foster care struggle to succeed at a disproportionate rate compared to their peers.
The trauma of moving, not to mention the sheer inconvenience of having to start over at different homes and schools multiple times, leaves children in foster care at a disadvantage when it comes to developing life skills. Whether you’re foster parenting or working at a group home for children in foster care, take some time to help develop these skills.
Decisionmaking
We make decisions every day, but when life seems to jerk us around, it’s easy to forget this power – and easy to forget it matters. From confidently deciding what to order at a restaurant to choosing healthy relationships, decisionmaking applies to everything in life. Empower children and teenagers by walking them through this process.
Money Management
Comparison shopping, saving, budgeting, understanding the difference between credit and debit cards, and knowing how interest rates work (especially on loans) all add up for a healthy financial life. While you don’t want to make kids feel responsible for your finances, you can introduce them to the concepts.
Meal Preparation
When young children want to help in the kitchen, it means more mess and responsibility for you, but consider taking the extra time to teach them safety and basic kitchen skills. Teach older children how to cook simple items like rice, eggs, and pasta, and teach them how to follow recipes.
Housekeeping
It’s hard to get kids to do chores in general, and children in foster care may have some bad experiences when it comes to discipline. Understand this as you assign age-appropriate chores and come up with ways to enforce the rules. Doing laundry and dishes are essential skills for teenagers who will be living on their own (or with roomates) in just a few years.
Healthy Habits
Routines aren’t just arbitrary rules we set to establish order, they exist to prevent health problems and improve our general well-being. So, while you can always make exceptions to the rules, healthy eating, regular bedtime, good hygiene, and exercise have been shown to improve moods and behaviors while safeguarding physical health.
Of course, the goal is not to turn children you care for into model citizens, but to give them tools they can use when they are reunited with their families or age out of the system. Whether you’re preparing the children in your care for independence or simply giving them the chance to be kids, Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation dedicates our resources to supporting enrichment activities for kids of all ages. Your donation truly makes a difference.