Growing up it felt like my college years were always threatened. I never doubted myself or told myself I couldn’t do it; it was more that I was being constantly discouraged by my life challenges. Before I went into foster care, I was surviving the chaos of my childhood home, my future was uncertain well before entering the system and just as undetermined when I aged out.
Sudden Change
When I went into foster care, I felt like I had not only my life but kind of all that I knew stripped from me. At the time I was seventeen and starting my first semester senior year, I had actually just finished taking my senior yearbook photos. My priorities went from deciding on a senior quote to spending the next six months of my life switching through group homes, attending court dates, working with social workers, and navigating a broken system.
Despite that I never did get to decide on a senior quote, let alone be in a yearbook, I still completed high-school two months earlier than my expected graduation date. I couldn’t do anything about losing my senior year experience, but I knew that I could at least get to earn my high-school diploma, wear the cap and gown, and walk across that stage like everyone else gets to. I understand the impact that foster care can have when it comes to those important moments growing up. I know it can be discouraging. But my advice is to take control of those moments and live them.
On My Own
An unfortunate reality is that when I aged out of foster care, I went homeless almost immediately. I made the decision to hop the Greyhound bus from Arizona to Georgia and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. I did know that I had nothing left for me in Arizona though, and it was time to start navigating some of the most important developmental years of my life on my own.
When I got to Georgia, I started off living in a car and had picked up three jobs – I was basically surviving but I wasn’t doing anything for myself. I know at this point you would think I’d want a spa day, or a two week paid vacation (don’t get me wrong, I very much did). But right before I went into foster care, I had a personal encounter that inspired me to become a nurse. And that’s what I wanted for myself. I knew my original plan after graduating high-school was to start college in the fall, and there was nothing stopping me from trying, regardless of what my circumstances were.
Digging Deep
If I wanted to make this happen, I knew I needed the right resources and I was going to have to dig deep for them. I didn’t expect to start my first year of college living in a car and working three part time jobs, and at the time I had never considered scholarships being more than financial aid before becoming an Arizona Friends of Foster Children Foundation (AFFCF) scholar. With support from the Focus Forward Fund, I was able to get my first apartment and had received support during the school year when I had financial hardships. Over these past few years AFFCF has quite literally watched me grow up. It always felt like having someone cheering for you on the sidelines, and they showed up every time.
In 2022 I got my first acceptance into nursing school, but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go because I had lost my job right before the program started. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do the program without the stability and had to take school off my priority list. I didn’t know what was next for me, I felt that I had worked so hard just to lose everything all over again. I had been in Georgia for five years at that point and felt like it was time to move on. You’ll recall the first time I decided to hop the Greyhound bus and from Arizona to Georgia I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Well, this time I packed my bags and decided to drive across the country to Oregon instead.
Looking Back
I look back and am still proud that I made this decision. I’m glad that I didn’t force myself to stay somewhere I had outgrown, and I had taken it as a sign that maybe Georgia wasn’t where I was supposed to make this dream happen. And I was right. Now don’t worry, I did have somewhat of a plan when I decided this. I chose to take the next step in my career and become a travel CNA, something I have been doing for over two years now.
When I got my second acceptance in 2023, I dropped before starting again not because I wasn’t financially stable, but because I wasn’t ready. I was hard on myself about it; I thought maybe I should have just made it work because this is where I was meant to be. But having control over that decision felt really good to have and I didn’t let it discourage me from applying again.
Unwavering Support
It’s been seven years since AFFCF has known and supported me. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had this committee on edge with how chaotic my life is – they have been with me through everything. I’m incredibly grateful to be receiving their support as right now I am finally in the nursing program working on becoming a nurse.
I’d also like to add I may have lied when I said I never decided on a senior quote:
“All will be well” – Tonia Benham
Change the Story
Laila’s story is one of perseverance and hope. With only three percent of students from foster care actually earning a post-secondary degree, AFFCF’s Post-Secondary programs exist to help scholars, like Laila, not only get to college, but stay in college. You can help these young individuals achieve their academic and professional goals by making a foster care tax credit donation to AFFCF. Doing so gives you a dollar-for-dollar credit on your Arizona state taxes, up to $1,173. Give today at affcf.org/give.